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The Way I Feel Vol​.​1

by Robbie Tucker

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1.
Tucker & Hunter & Chloe 04:12
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Tucker & Hunter & Chloe Action Downsized living alone cast away and victim made Chewed out fingers pointing the truth the truth nowhere to be found Tucker & Hunter & Chloe Tucker & Hunter & Chloe Lies told beds unmade promise broken yeah it was a real shit parade Trust burnt bills unpaid two cars stolen yeah but one live saved Tucker & Hunter & Chloe Tucker & Hunter & Chloe Tucker & Hunter & Chloe Three zeros from the woods Cut Okay that was perfect but next time I’d like you to try saying heroes okay Action Scene stolen road unmapped green glass bottles broken wiretapped Gear stick shifted gas tank drained curfew lifted dogs unchained yeah Tucker & Hunter & Chloe Tucker & Hunter & Chloe Next shot straight ahead the mood is tension quite on set Cue cards the sun hurts his eyes his next is twisted will they survive Tucker & Hunter & Chloe Tucker & Hunter & Chloe Tucker & Hunter & Chloe Three heroes that never could Clouds parted demons raised dogs outsmarted next page Eyes open mind lifting tracks covered as the night is shifting Tucker & Hunter & Chloe Tucker & Hunter & Chloe Tucker & Hunter & Chloe Tucker & Hunter & Chloe Tucker & Hunter & Chloe Tucker & Hunter & Chloe Yeah yeah yeah Three hands altogether five fingers on the ground two arms broken speed of sound Locked doors bolted acting fades script is hidden now the movies made Tucker & Hunter & Chloe Tucker & Hunter & Chloe Tucker & Hunter & Chloe Three heroes in Hollywood
2.
You Say Crazy Things 03:52
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You Say Crazy Things Stand back their world it ain’t on your side They’ll shove glass right into your eyes Til they bleed out the screaming sound That Jesus Christ was crucified Yeah, yeah, yeah I caught a man eating all my food He was hungry so it were cool Then he jumped in my swimming pool That was less than the best but still better than the rest I won’t be faking this grin no more Words all over my kitchen floor Open up both of all my doors And let em all out and don’t let none back in All scientific equations tell what is only the truth and While lines of victims of crime had to hide or be vilified Until the lies of 9/11 are finally rectified But even sometimes when I can’t get you off of my mind They all play forwards and backwards your words Til they cease to entertain sticking to my inner brain You sure do say some crazy things I hope someday you’ll start to think I think the truth should be verified If it could be a scary lie Hey now what if you’re terrified cause your friend is gone And nobody knows why or what went wrong? Tread lightly thirds are now fortified Headlines made to demoralize If your only maneuver is rubbing war into everyone’s eyes Just so you can survive I like my words to be vocalized Broken shattered glass in my eye Til I dream of the steamy sound of rhythmic coffee through my mind You’re my ray of sunshine mostly all the time Now don’t just trivialize it Hide it and don’t let the people see Make those people sheep Don’t you know when you say crazy things It could be damaging even if it’s not to you Everyone has a got the right at least to try Wouldn’t you agree? Shouldn’t you agree? Well maybe you should stop and think before you say such crazy things
3.
Things Change 03:24
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Things Change I’ve beat myself up and I’ve beat myself down And if I’m really being honest I can’t afford to be alone anymore This room is small and my heart is sore I’ve curled up in a ball and wished a million times I was dead Cursed and swore and so much more For this pain and I think it needs to be said I ain’t having fun and this ain’t easy The monster says all things will change The one that lives inside my brain He don’t make deals he lives to take The monsters real he is not fake Right now I’m living in my socks, my socks are living in my shoes It wasn’t always easy But it never seemed to be this hard At least not from what I remember I try to be the man I think I once wished I could be But I never end up feeling like I can accomplish anything it seems And in my heart of hearts, it’s so frustrating The monster says all things will change Although I find it to be strange When the feeling comes around It nails my feet down to the ground
4.
Only Had Been I 02:37
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Only Had Been I Every time shadows find me I think I think I should run away But lately I must tell I don’t have the strength to run away anyway Wishful eyes telling lies for me I don’t use truth much anyway My life of lies feels like Why days even try they only end anyway Hey one time there was a giraffe in my window And his big eyes looked at me right through my bedroom window When then I began to scream as I realized Only had been I was dreaming Anytime you feel like You don’t exist no more it isn’t true Yeah just come find me and you’ll see That I so do really believe in you Hey there my mommy tried to comfort my screaming I was only a boy I didn’t understand I just kept screaming And then I began to cry when I realized Only had been I was a fantasy
5.
Whisperman 02:24
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Whisperman Hey I’m the Whisperman I only whisper when I can Hear what I am saying fool Listen all you need to do It’s easy if you seek the truth Make sure no ones missing you Then take what you wish to say And twist it to a whisper way Get down here Who me? Get down here Who are you talking to? Whisper words without fear A whisper is too soft to hear I can say anything as long As I keep whispering I can barely hear you Why are you whispering There is no reason for your silence There’s no reason there’s no reason nope Yeah Keeping secrets is a breeze Like the blind beneath the trees You can barely even hear If whispered words were whispered here Anticipation breaks your fall When words are barely audible The truth is lies are much preferred When fused into your whisper words No, I can barely hear you Why are you whispering There's no need for your silence There’s no reason there’s no reason Whisper words without fear A whisper is too soft to hear Well I can say anything as long As I am whispering Get down here Who me? Get down here Who are you talking to? Get down here Who me? Rest assured when kept in place The softest sounds are hard to trace However desperate you plan It’s not the way a whisper can Hey now I’m the Whisperman Listen to my whisper plan I can say most anything Because you are the whisper king
6.
Don't You Know? 02:53
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Don’t You Know One, two, three At the top of their game and at the height of their fame They knew you so much more than me They gave ridiculous names and layed a powerful claim Right to the floor much more than me But I couldn’t stand for the things that they stood for All shoulder to shoulder with bones in my hands Travelling came from the names that they worked for As colder became all the cash in their hands Don’t you know who you used to be Whether you recall I know I still do Don’t you know who you could still be Never give up those who believe in you Now through no fault of her own I found her standing alone Next to a pile of sad memories There is something I’ll need to go and find in my dreams She said before I go you’ll see But all of the things that they done to me hurt so All shoulder to shoulder with bones in my feet The louder they lied all the more that it hurt so As empty became all the soles of their feet Don’t you know who you used to be Whether you recall I know I still do Don’t you know who you could still be Never give up those who believe in you Don’t you know who you used to be Whether you recall I know I still do Don’t you know who you could still be Never give up those who believe in you
7.
On My Bike 02:46
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On My Bike On my bike while the whole world is spinning On my bike while the sun just keeps grinning On my bike On my bike where the feeling is freedom On my bike yes I’m loving the feeling On my bike way up top I’m the leader On my bike turning the world beneath my feet On my bike Take it easy it’s so breezy When the sky is blue There’s so many things That you can do or believe On my bike with my affairs all in order On my bike I keep it clean upstairs On my bike where I have kept from losing On my bike now I’m starting to be scared
8.
Are You Struggling? 03:48
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Are You Struggling The demon is winning this morning today I lose as he eats having all of my brains Are you on the edge? Or do you feel fine? Or will the way you feel today Change a thousand times? Are you giving up? Or do you feel like It’s hard to find a reason Anymore to even try to try? You were looking for things to go your way But it’s not gonna happen At least I don’t think so At least not today You did all the things you were supposed to do But I’m so sorry to tell you That you still can’t move Too bad so sad for you The demon is winning this morning today I lose as he eats having all of my brains Are you struggling? Or will you be okay? How much more time could it take Before you’re gone away? Are these only words That you think and say? Or are you being serious? Cause I can’t tell today I did not want to go to a party anyway And I do not have friends that I want to see They’d just be jealous of all the cool things that I can do Like barely stand up or talk to myself Or be all alone as I slowly go crazy Until I’m completely out of my mind Are you struggling Yes I’m struggling yeah Are you struggling yeah Yes I’m struggling
9.
The Way I Feel 02:43
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The Way I Feel Well we'll sing like a choir since I heard that you were leaving I'm just like a man and a liar is always deceiving If you listen to me for a while you will see that I'm my mother's child Can't drink the water if there's none there I can't help you baby if you just don't care Some people like Roy some people like Greg Graffin And you can race me there but I'll be there laughing I'll never let go of my dream I'm everything that's in between Catch me now if I can be caught Baby ring the bell so the fight will be fought How did I end up at this party? How come nobody else wants me? If I leave now I can make it by nine But I have no watch and I don't know the time Now some things will be different some things will seem strange But we always knew that someday it would change It doesn't mean that you were right it means you were very very wrong despite And everything that you thought was real is all changed baby By the way I feel Yeah by the way I feel Yeah by the way I feel By the way I feel
10.
Jesus Beatrice 07:10
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Jesus Beatrice Jesus Beatrice what the fuck have you done to me? Untie me right now before I break both your legs You better believe that this won’t end so good for you But I’ll give you a chance to untie both my legs I said I was sorry that bruise will heal very soon That’s only a scratch fuck you love to complain And you’re too dumb to work so I gotta pay for everything Turn on the lights bitch what’s wrong with your brain Okay I admit it when I get mad I hit you So why don’t you stand up to me you’re too soft And it isn’t my fault if for all that I give You keep finding new ways to keep on pissing me off I am your god I am your king of the castle I made you mine and you made me the asshole Even when I try to love you just hate me But that’s okay you never deserved to be loved anyway Now fucking untie me bitch Oh so I’ve made it too easy Oh you say nobody believes me So I should keep letting you beat me Cause you think nobody else needs me Making me feel like I’m worthless Why do you think I’m no good? Who the fuck do you think you are anyway? It’s your brain that don’t act like it should Jesus Beatrice where is this all coming from? I was just messing around cause I thought you were too Okay I’m sorry if I gave you the lasting impression No, I’m not perfect but Beatrice I love you Hello, Beatrice are you still there babe? I feel you need me like I need you Hey did I tell you I love those new earrings And that new dress you got it’s real pretty too Okay Beatrice it’s time to untie me I’m proud of the way you stood up for yourself It’s time to go home just please come untie me This is your last damn chance bitch I am your god I am your king of the castle I made you mine and you made me the asshole Even when I try to love you just hate me But that’s okay you never deserved to be loved anyway Now Beatrice turn on the lights I am not going to tell you again Oh I have heard this for a long time Oh you have said it all before Oh you have hurt me for a long time Oh you ain’t gonna hurt me anymore Anymore, anymore, anymore What if I told you that you made me plan For what happens here today to you for a very long time Would you think you deserve some sort of rational freedom Like I have not had for a very long time What do you mean? What plan? What are you gonna do Beatrice? Or did you simply believe that I would never get free And I’d keep taking your beatings until the end of my life Well you worthless excuse for a man The one nobody needs is you Come on Beatrice you know that I’m sorry This time I’ll change it won’t be like it was before Beatrice come on you know that I love you This time I’ll change it won’t be like it was before Beatrice, Beatrice you come back here Beatrice you fucking bitch

about

The Way I Feel Vol.1


The seed for this album was planted when a family member gifted me her son’s old 12-string guitar. After minor repairs and a fresh set of strings, I was ready to test out my new friend. It was love at first strum! The freshly wound strings rang out with such full and harmonic brilliance that the new songs immediately began to form in my head. Songwriting is magic.


For this new project, I wrote six new songs and used four older songs I’d previously written. These songs were either finished but never recorded or unfinished, in which case I finished them. 


I spent the next two weeks cross-legged in the middle of my living room floor, fully immersed in the writing process. The new songs came quickly, only requiring a pencil, writing tablet, and pencil sharpener. Within a week, I completed the chords, lyrics and vocal melodies for the new tunes. Six songs, ready to record! Then I placed them to the side and started finishing the old ones.


It can take a moment to get back into the groove when working with an incomplete song, and in some cases, I have to ask myself, “where did I leave off?”, “why didn’t I finish this?”. But, in the case of Jesus Beatrice, which ended up being the final track on this album, I immediately remembered why it remained incomplete. It’s a monster! “When you need to pull out the scissors and a glue stick to finish a song, you know that it’s going to be epic,” I posted on social media while working on finishing this track. Here are the four old songs.


The Way I Feel: This is the oldest song on the album, written around 1996 when I was still pretty new to songwriting. Having this song on the album is so cool for me but having it end up as the album title? Well, that feels magical.  


Don’t You Know - I bought a dulcimer one year for my birthday and soon after wrote this tune. I love the earthy vibes the dulcimer bleeds out. 


Are You Struggling - My memory isn’t great on this one. I only know the lyrics I’d already written previously mixed perfectly with the ones I added. It also fits the theme and message I’d hoped to infuse into this album.


Jesus Beatrice - I began writing this song in 2014 for my 4th album, Acoustic Fudge. However, I didn’t get it finished. Though it may have taken me some time to complete, I’m so proud of myself for finally conquering the beast!


I open up on this album and write about the problems I’ve experienced related to living with Parkinson’s disease for the past 17 years, something I hadn’t allowed myself to do before this project. I never want to come across as ‘whiny’ or ‘poor me’ because I understand that it can always be worse. However, the never-ending need for medication, combined with isolation, and the inability to work, have become significant factors in my life and are all topics expressed on The Way I Feel Vol.1. Don’t worry. It’s not all doom and gloom. There’s always a fun way to tell a story.


I’ll continue to make music for as long as possible in whatever capacity is available to me because there isn’t anything I love more. I’m so excited for you to listen to this new album, and I encourage you to reach out to me with your feedback! Finally, I want to say thank you for listening, truly. It means the world to me. Making music is why I’m here; at least, that’s the way I feel.


Musically yours,
Robbie Tucker
October 6, 2022

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released November 4, 2022

Robbie Tucker - Acoustic Guitars, Mandoline, Dulcimer, Organ, Recorder, Vocals, Bass Guitar, Electric Guitar, Percussion, Electric Piano, Keyboards, Producer

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Robbie Tucker Miramichi, New Brunswick

Robbie Tucker - singer, songwriter and producer from Miramichi, New Brunswick, continues to pump out true art rife with fantastical imagery.   His musical heroes include Roy Orbison, Paul McCartney, and Elvis Presley.

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