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Peppermints

by Robbie Tucker

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1.
Peppermints 02:44
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2.
Gordan 02:52
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3.
The Underrated Santa 04:02
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The Underrated Santa Tall and mean he was the underrated Santa Sight unseen he never gave to charity All I need is some super clean pyjamas and some overripe bananas and a monkey in a tree He locked up his mother and got wasted without money The elves thought it was funny with such clarity they seen Surprised several times by his sister and his mommy Oh his family they were crummy but they gave to charity Nobody wants to be Santa and it’s because Life is just so underrated when you're the Clause Present day has become so degrading so filled with flaws Yes life has become underrated for Santa Clause He bitched as he moaned yelling at the elves Who stayed late for him making toys stocking shelves But he said it couldn’t be all smiles and jolly all the time Present time is coming and it’s my name on the line He laughed until he cried himself from wakeful dead of sleep As Prancer became weak and Rudy’s nose it wouldn’t glow How could he ever satisfy his Christmas deeds? He decided he would bleed fulfilling fantasies of greed Nobody wants to be Santa and it’s because Life is just so underrated when you're the Clause Present day has become so degrading so filled with flaws Yes life has become underrated for Santa Clause Tall and mean he was the underrated Santa Sight unseen he never gave to charity All I need is some super clean pyjamas and some overripe bananas and a monkey in a tree
4.
Ohh Dee Ohh Doe! 03:21
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Ohh Dee Ohh Doe! You got a responsibility to the order in which you lie Whether it be about Santa or another man in the sky I write from my experience so you can’t say it isn’t true All you can do is maybe listen and think Hey am I doing this too alright! Ohh dee ohh doe doe doe doe doe! Ohh dee ohh doe doe doe doe doe! Ohh dee ohh doe doe doe doe doe! Ohh dee ohh doe doe doe doe doe! Days before pages of info online I believed what the old people said Sure it’s all true it can’t be a lie as sure as the curls on my head But now I know that lies were told lies all based on a book If you still believe that one man could be three hey the internet take a look Ohh dee ohh doe doe doe doe doe! Ohh dee ohh doe doe doe doe doe! Ohh dee ohh doe doe doe doe doe! Ohh dee ohh doe doe doe doe doe! Now it’s possible yes and I will understand if you lived a long time ago If all of the things that you had to believe were what parents taught you to be so But now it’s the future and I’m a man my fathers an older one too It’s time to believe in more than just one thing the responsible thing to do Ohh dee ohh doe doe doe doe doe! Ohh dee ohh doe doe doe doe doe! Ohh dee ohh doe doe doe doe doe! Ohh dee ohh doe doe doe doe doe! Now my words aren’t meant to inflict or intrude on what I believe or what you do But just take a breath in and give thinking a try cause science is pretty cool too Instead of teaching your kids that a man died on a cross door their sins Teach them to learn to love and be kind then you won’t have to teach them again Ohh dee ohh doe doe doe doe doe! Ohh dee ohh doe doe doe doe doe! Ohh dee ohh doe doe doe doe doe! Ohh dee ohh doe doe doe doe doe! Ohh dee ohh doe doe doe doe doe! Ohh dee ohh doe doe doe doe doe! Ohh dee ohh doe doe doe doe doe! Ohh dee ohh doe doe doe doe doe! You got a responsibility to the order in which you lie Whether it be about Santa or another man in the sky I write from my experience so you can’t say it isn’t true All you can do is maybe listen and think Hey am I doing this too alright! Ohh dee ohh doe doe doe doe doe! Ohh dee ohh doe doe doe doe doe! Ohh dee ohh doe doe doe doe doe! Ohh dee ohh doe doe doe doe doe! Ohh dee ohh doe doe doe doe doe! Ohh dee ohh doe doe doe doe doe! Ohh dee ohh doe doe doe doe doe! Ohh dee ohh doe doe doe doe doe! Mom is there really a Santa Clause?
5.
Holiday Hustle 04:02
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6.
WishBook 07:42
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When I was a boy and Jason was too Before this present day was a thought Long before YouTubes, Facebooks or Apps  Long before screen time induced headaches and naps A time that isn’t now at least not the same Before being quarantined and standing 6 feet away Before social distancing jammed a candy cane in our gears This story goes back a many number of years Yes a story of pages all gifted and bound Packaged and ready for true eyes to be found Some lift up illusions this time of year But this story is true Of Wishbook you’re all going to hear There was no set day or set month or set week Though by December it’d be here for sure Sure as Lassie’s bark was high pitched and squeaked Sure as Sparky’s ears were not brown but blond bleached Wishbook would come in one of two ways Only one of which did I ever see The legend arrived almost right to our door Or as close as our mailbox could be And what a gift to be the one to be the first one to see All the things on its pages throughout Surprise filled my eyes as I opened and felt Xmas was coming no doubt All kids tall and all kids small All kids blue and all kids true All so excited cause Santa was coming Wishbook brought out the Xmas in you And of course there were boring things for our parents to see Stuff you could wear and some stuff you could eat Stuff that mom loved and even stuff for dad’s feet But for Jason and me Being brothers both lovers of things So shiny and cool That Santa could bring They were all tucked away at the back near the end Far from the hats and the shoes Flip, flip, flip, umbrellas? Flip, flip, ahh come on! Flip, flip, flip and finally! The toys! Ahh the toys! The widest of smiles became cracks in our faces No kids ever had this much fun while standing in two places But it wasn’t because of all the things we could get No it was because of the pages we hadn’t seen yet Oh what is that? It looks like… Not there on page 562 Well it says it makes flavoured ice cream That it also keeps it cool! Okay, what about this? Right here! It’s green and points down I dunno but it says below in small print This toy operates best on flat solid ground Meanwhile… Far from the shovels and beveled romantic rings Farther from gloves, dark fruit cakes and even more boring things Strategically placed well hidden from eyes Santa was prepping to take to the skies A Clause like no other A mystery unseen A man made out purely of thought That could some how deliver Close to 5 billion gifts With no worries he’d ever get caught And as all kids we knew started making their lists For tumblers, and capes Not socks Mom I said capes! For Gremlins, Stinkores, Transformers Our fate was all left to that big man in red A Clause like no other A mystery unseen Wishbook he’d sent as a guide Now I know mom and dad probably said it was from Sears But your mom and your dad they both lied No, Sears was merely a distraction you see A quite cleverly cloaked acronym Okay then you say for what does the word stand Thinking I’ll have no response Thinking this stories untrue Thinking your question might cause my derailment How about this SEARS Santa’s Elves And Reindeer Surveillance That’s right! Wishbook had come straight from the North Pole Not from some once upon a used to be store Wishbook connected the magic of Santa Which helped map his quest to your door When Xmas Eve came we both jumped in our beds Mom and dad said you two get to sleep We knew that we had to so Santa could come But the night always seemed like a week The next morning Jason and I emptied our socks Which had been filled by that magical man As Mom and Dad sat with orange pekoe in cups I noticed on our living room stand Wishbook Tattered and dog-eared in so many places From all of our wishes and wants Ketchup on permanently circled marked pages Sticky fingered prints laced with sugary traces … Wishbook had given to all who had looked But it felt kind of strange like now it was just a book Like somehow after Xmas the magic had gone How could this be How could the feeling just disappear The same way it seemed to to me every year I decided not to give it too much more thought When dad said hey Robbie finish emptying your sock I gave him the gesture that I already did And he gestured back like he was being a kid Look again he said weirdly while making a face Dig deep said mom looking comfy in her place So I reached back in my sock and then felt in my hand A rolled up lined small piece of paper I looked at my dad then he looked at my mom My dad is still here but my mom is long gone Santa Clause had written a message for me A message still found to be true And it read… Every gift you’ll ever need will always be here In the Wishbook that’s inside of you
7.
Donder's Last Flight 04:04
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8.
Like An Elephant 03:32
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Like An Elephant Oh such things to some you see Might be quite irrelevant All I knows that you believe I can fly like an elephant Ain’t no such thing as Santa’s sleigh Flying reindeer out in front of it Though if it’s true and they’re like me They’re trying for the hell of it These Christmas things you buy in stores Won’t fill your heart up anymore And when the snow falls hard outside I know your love will keep me dry Your love is strong of this I’m sure Cause I don’t even have a cent And you help me fly so high So I can be an elephant You’ve changed my life in such detail Without the magic of a sled And you are all my worldly dreams Ahh believe me cause it’s what I said This Christmas eve won’t mean a thing If I am not right next to you This year my boy I know it’ll be A Christmas we can hold onto Oh such things to some you see Might seem quite irrelevant How do I that you believe? Well I’m flying like an elephant

about

Robbie Tucker Crafts One of the Strangest Christmas Records You’ll Ever Hear With ‘Peppermints’ - Paul Baker (TheEastMag.com)

From the moment we hit play on Robbie Tucker’s Peppermints, his self-proclaimed “first and only Christmas album,” Tucker runs wild with descriptive lyrics and deft storytelling, amounting to one of the strangest Christmas records you’ll ever hear. Peppermints sounds like a cast recording for a non-existent Christmas production just waiting to be created.

Throughout the album, Tucker uses a collection of cartoonish voices to tell the story of Christmas through the eyes of various characters; Santa, unlucky shop owner Gordan and, what seems to be, an adult Tucker reminiscing Christmases past. By the end of the record, one could easily imagine each song reenacted by Avenue-Q puppets in a Yuletide anthology.

Over the course of Peppermints’ eight songs, Tucker runs the gamut from pensive piano ballads (“Like an Elephant”), thumping dance music (“Gordan”), quasi Calypso (“Ohh Dee Ohh Doe!”), and acapella spoken word (“Wishbook”). The latter two are particularly interesting.

“Ohh Dee Ohh Doe!” is the first anti-religion Christmas tune I can recall hearing. Tucker draws parallels between the naivety of believing in Santa and believing in “another man in the sky”. In between channelling his inner Harry Belafonte on the non-sensical hook, Tucker cheekily encourages parents to teach their children to “love and be kind” rather than teaching them that “a man died on the cross for their sins”, and that if they believe “one man can be three”, then modern science would amaze them.

This is, by far, as controversial as Peppermints gets.

As the album goes on, Tucker grows increasingly sentimental. Nowhere is this more apparent than the nearly eight-minute spoken word poem, “Wishbook”. Tucker reminisces on a Christmas tradition that generations of children remember fondly: leafing through the annual Sears Wishbook until it falls apart. Like many of us, Tucker would excitedly circle the most tantalizing toys, gawk at seemingly otherworldly gadgets (an ice cream maker), and wonder how his parents could want mundane necessities like shoes and groceries. Tucker concludes the story with the revelation that while his mother has since passed away, his parents taught him that, if he looks he looks hard enough, all the happiness contained in the Wishbook can be found within himself.

While Peppermints clocks in at barely thirty minutes, Robbie Tucker is able to showcase a series of expressive vignettes that cover the range of emotions we feel during the holiday season; from saccharine sweet to slightly condescending. Peppermints is unlike any holiday album you’ll hear this year.

Article link - www.theeastmag.com/2020/12/10/robbie-tucker-crafts-one-of-the-strangest-christmas-records-youll-ever-hear-with-peppermints/

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released November 20, 2020

Robbie Tucker

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Robbie Tucker Miramichi, New Brunswick

Robbie Tucker - singer, songwriter and producer from Miramichi, New Brunswick, continues to pump out true art rife with fantastical imagery.   His musical heroes include Roy Orbison, Paul McCartney, and Elvis Presley.

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